You Guys Are AMAZING...Or Am I Just Boring

A random photo of a computer playing a movie about people that fly

I'm actually quite surprised I haven't lost any of my "legion of followers" after my last post. Because people usually freak and run when they find out. It's also weird no one has abused me yet. But I'm not complaining.

I understand it can be threatening to people, and their perceptions of gender (among other issues). Even some of my best (real) friends, that I've had since I was a little kid, ran away for a little while. Even though they would comment on my feminine looks and occasional behaviour, all the time, before they found out. But they said they had no idea. I'm guessing I was good at pretending to be a guy (I realize this statement may not make sense to you)

But you're still here.

This means people really are amazing!

I know this is true, most of the time. But for some reason we all run into the very un-awesome people in the world, a little too often. So it's easy to forget.

OR

I've been so boring you have long forgotten you are even following me, and haven't read my last post. Which is probably also true.

For some reason this has made me want to start posting things that are, actually, interesting. Instead of just writing about my weird mood or latest annoyance (but this will still happen)

Problem is...I'm not that interesting. So don't hold your breath.

I think I will just spend a little more time thinking about what I want to post. And maybe even prepare things before just getting bored, typing something off the top of my head and posting.

Basically what I'm trying to say is; You guys are amazing and I love reading your blogs so I'm gonna try and make it up to you and make this blog a little more interesting and consistent

xx Sophie Neutron xx

About Me

It has been brought to my attention that I have been keeping some rather important bits of information about myself from you all.

I don't actually think it's that important for everyone to know. But I guess I'm a little too close to it all to know. So I have decided to give you all some more details about who I am.

I am a twenty something living in Australia. I wasn't born here because my mum, who was born here, was living overseas at the time. But I've lived here almost my whole life and I love this country (most of the time).

I am also only attracted to women. I don't know why this is important to you, but apparently it is. I have never been attracted to men. And I can be sure, because, I am.

Lastly, and I suppose, most importantly. I have XY chromosomes. Meaning I was born male, which makes me transsexual (pre-op).

I didn't think it was important to say on here. I see myself as a woman and I live as a woman. And most everyone that sees me as I go about my business day to day see me that way too, including the ones that know.

I was trying to live "stealth" which basically means I don't want every man and his dog knowing I used to be a man. Which is also a good reason to keep as much of this info to myself.

Another reason I didn't want to mention this on here is. I don't want to attract "tranny chasers". I have nothing against them but I'm not interested in helping people satisfy this fetish. It can get a little scary at times with some people and my safety is pretty important to me.

I am sorry if anyone feels I should have divulged this information earlier but I honestly didn't think it was important.

PS. I wrote this a little while ago and realized it is important to tell you all. It's mostly important for me. Because; I was scared to press "publish". I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of who I am.

Please, if you don't like who I am, instead of being mean and judgemental, just don't read this blog.

If anyone does have questions though I will try and answer them. But I've found I'm not very "typical" in my experiences. So anything I say is just my opinion.

Smile

Rosie and I took this photo, almost by accident, while at a gig/event thingy. I like it, so it's going up on here. And it just makes me smile when I look at it.

It brings back memories of when I was a kid. Going to carnivals with my dad and playing the games in the side show alley. Running around through the crowds of laughing smiling people with all the amazing props and machines buzzing and swirling and bobbing and flashing. All while eating such amazingly bad sugary, greasy food. Even then, I knew eating so much junk was gonna make me suffer later...worth it!

It also reminds me to always try and find my smile, and share it with the world. Who knows, someone that's finding it hard to find their smile might see you. And just maybe find a reason to smile too.

Homeless

Although I have spent a couple of my sleepless nights curled up on public furniture when I was younger. That isn't what I want to talk about here.

I'm talking about living in a house (apartment etc.) but not having a home.

There is a big difference between a house and a home...I think.

Not once in my life have I ever felt like I was home. Not even as a kid living with my mum. I had a place to lay my head at night. With a roof and walls and bathroom and kitchen and all the other things that you may find in a home. But it was just a house I lived in.

Everywhere I've lived has just been another place to live. Basically, just a place where I could keep my things and go to sleep.

I'm not quite sure how it would feel to finally be at home.

 But I imagine, it would be like having a place that you feel comfortable. The kind of comfort you get when you're wearing your favourite coat, or pair of jeans. A place that just feels right for you. A place where you belong.

For now I don't really mind being "homeless". In a way I feel kind of lucky. It's like I'm still on an exciting journey. A journey that will hopefully lead me to my home someday.