Wednesday, December 30, 2009

good riddance 2009

I am so excited for next year. I know it's just another year, but I have promised myself I'll make this one count.

This year hasn't been that bad at all really. I have met some of the best people I have ever known this year. And I have reconnected with people from the past, via the wonders of the Internet. So because of this I would never wish away this year.

But it hasn't been the most productive year I've ever had. I worked myself to the bone but when I look back at my accomplishments for the year there is nothing there. I don't know what happened but for all the work I have done this year it seems I got nothing done. Well nothing that I would want to brag about anyway.

So, I bid fare well to 2009 and a warm welcome to 2010. I will move forward, I will get things done and I will be proud of what I achieve by the end of the year.
gotta stay positive. Right?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I love my family

I know they need me and I know they love me too. But I have had enough.

They aren't that bad, I just need to get away. I need some time to be alone and take care of me for a little while.

I'm harder on myself than they are on me, and they will understand if I take off. No one actually expected me to stick around for so long. I didn't intend to, but they needed me, so I make sure I'm always close.

It isn't their fault they need me, but they do. I feel so bad that I want to take off and live so far away. But I really feel I need to. I don't think I will last being so close to them for much longer.

I love my family and I will always be there for them. But if I can't do that from a distance, at least for a while, I'm going to explode.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Why is it that people seem to think everyone wants to know other peoples private business?

I got quite upset last night when someone started telling me something about a friend of mine. I already knew the information but I also knew it wasn't for anyone to spread or talk about.

It wasn't damaging information or even embarrassing but it was most definitely private. And this person thought it would be a great idea to walk around the bar telling everyone that knew us this gossip.

I instantly lost all the trust and respect I had for this person when they started talking about my friend and I realized they didn't have a clue I already knew. Not that it was a particularly appropriate topic of discussion anyway.

I'm not the only one from my circle that feels this way. It got around that this person was talking about things they shouldn't be and everyone started ignoring them. This made me a little upset too, but I was still angry at the 'betrayal' so I couldn't bring myself to go spend my time with them either.

My point; If your a gossip queen, or king, try your best to be more thoughtful of other people. It can be hurtful and embarrassing. Sure everyone talks about whats going on in their circle of friends, but you shouldn't spread information that has been told to you in confidence. In the end though, you're the one that will suffer the most from all your gossiping.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Creative Burden

Unfortunately, painting didn't help unlock my creativity at all. What I have ended up with, after a few hours struggling with palettes and brushes, is a lovely picture of mud. Sure I could save the mess. but I will definitely need my creativity to do it.

I suppose that is part of the burden of creativity. To have an ability that isn't as common as the world deserves is an amazing gift. Maybe we have these creative blocks to remind ourselves that it is a gift, and we should persevere and struggle with all our energy. To push out all the creativity and technical ability we have hidden away inside us, so we can share it with the world.

Whenever I talk to people that aren't particularly creative about what I do, I tell them; everyone has creativity, and everyone uses it in their lives. The only real difference between us professional creatives and everyone else is we have the ability to work through these struggles and we have the passion to persevere.

Perhaps that's why many of the worlds most creative people are a little "disturbed". It is hard to work like this. To continually push our minds past never ending barriers and obstacles. And the craziest part is we can't help it, we can't switch off the compulsion. We have to keep on pushing our ideas farther, and uncover new and interesting ideas. It's the type of profession that demands us to give ourselves completely to what we do...It is who we are.

So here I go again. Agonising over whats trapped in my mind. Trying to get past the barriers until it starts spilling out again.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Itch

I am feeling quite frustrated at the moment. You see, I have a creative itch and it is proving rather difficult to scratch. All this trouble is because I am suffering from a massive creative block.

Luckily it hasn't stoped me from being able to work, but I am having trouble with the creativity. So for the mean time I am just concentrating on the more technical side to what I do, which doesn't always demand much creativity.

But this itch is just getting worse and worse by the minute. I have tried the design by a logic process, but to me that is just working to a formula. There is nothing wrong with that, I do it all the time quite successfully. But these processes just aren't scratching the itch.

In the past I have found that a change in creative medium can unlock the creativity trap door. So maybe it's time to break out the old brushes and grab a canvas, It has been too long and this is the only thing I can think of that I haven't tried yet.

(wish me luck)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

New Addiction

Okay I have to admit I think I am becoming addicted to this whole blog thing. Not that I consider myself a writer or anything. But I have found this place really can be everything I wanted and needed it to be.

This is somewhere I can say whatever random thing is on my mind (obviously), and I have a lot of randomness scrambling around my mind. Now I just have to find a way to get it all out while making sense.

Maybe saying what I want isn't the only part that has gotten me hooked so quickly. It could also possibly be...that I am ever so slightly...addicted to discovering and reading all of your wonderful blogs.

I look forward to sharing, discovering and reading more soon. But I have been awake for way too long and it's time for me to try and visit the wonderful land of nod, for a couple of hours at least.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dearest Almost Friend;

I know we weren't quite friends just yet but I really did believe we would be soon. Not just acquaintances but real friends.

I don't know what happened, but it's obvious something did. Now when we meet or speak something is not quite right. I suppose we're just moving along very fast, in very different directions.

This isn't such a bad thing. But it is a little disappointing. Real friends are hard to come by. And you would have been a good friend to have.

Goodbye my almost friend;

xx Sophie Neutron xx

Friday, December 18, 2009

An Idea

When you plant the seed of an idea it begins a life of it's own. You may be able to help guide it through it's life, especially in the beginning. The idea may also come in contact with other minds and influences which will also help shape the seedling of an idea. You can love it or hate it, you can even claim it as your own. In the end though, ideas will grow and live their own life. Influencing you just as much as you influenced it. What an amazing creation an idea can be.


Why hello there;

This blog is about nothing in particular. All you will find on here is some random ramblings from me about whatever is on my mind at the time. I'll probably also share some things I come across that I find interesting from time to time.

Thank you for stopping by
xx Sophie Neutron xx