Friday, August 27, 2010

I'm a harsh friend...

Throughout my life, just like most people, I've called a few people friend. I'm probably not the best friend a person could have, but I don't think I'm the worst friend either.

One thing I take seriously as a friend is trust. And I try my best to be there for my friends when they need me. If it's because they stubbed their toe, I'm not going to drop everything and drive over to kiss it better...after all, most of my friend are older than 3. But if someone I call a friend really needs me, whether it's to listen and let them cry on my shoulder or to do something for them or whatever. I'll do what I can to be there for them.

Some people make excuses for hurting people. They say their life is crap or they do bad things because they are from a certain neighbourhood, or whatever other weak excuse. But it doesn't matter where you're from or what you've been through, you, always, have a choice. So when I get fed nothing but bullcrap from people I call friend and they continuously treat me like I'm crap. I'll cut them out of my life until they are willing to try. I still make sure I keep an eye open and check up on them from time to time, directly or otherwise. But I won't stand in their path.

Some people have the strength to be dragged through hell with the people they love, for as long as it takes. I'm just not one of them.

This seems quite harsh to some people, and I understand where they are coming from. But, I've been beaten up, robbed, framed, blamed, and all round mistreated by friends, countless times. So I've learned, they can't be helped unless they want to be helped. And I make sure my friends know that they can run out of chances with me. If they treat me badly, it's their choice to have me turn my back on them.

When I first started to turn my back on friends, I wondered if I was maybe doing the absolute worst thing. Until one day, I got a call from one of them. I have to admit, at first I thought they were just going to try and get money off me so they could go buy more 'stuff', but just in case, I answered anyway. He said hello and went silent for maybe 60 seconds, I knew he was still there and for some reason I just waited silently, then he said he was sorry. I'd heard it before, but there was something different this time, I believed him.

He, slowly, asked me to come and help him. I went to pick him up before he even told me where he was. He was smacked out, so I had to carry him out of the condemned house he was in. It wasn't the first time I'd dragged a friend out of there and other places like it. My friends families or boy/girlfriends had called me to help them before, but it was the first time a friend had called and asked me to do it for themselves. Usually I would take them to the emergency room or call an ambulance. But this time my friend handed me a pamphlet with his girlfriends phone number and the address to a clinic. I met his girlfriend there and we signed him, and his friend, into a 'rapid detox' clinic that day. A week later, after his girlfriend and I nursed and guarded them through the worst of it, he thanked me.

So now, whenever I feel like I'm letting a friend down because I've walked away; I think of that day....I think of my friend that has been clean for over 6 years now...I think of his kids that have their dad

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Have You Ever Fallen In Love With Someone...

There was a whole lot'a lusting going on!

Some people say things like - I fell in love with them because of their smile - or - I love them because of the way their eyes light up when they laugh...I do think you can love things about a person. But I don't think there is any single thing that makes anyone fall in love with a person.

There are A LOT of people out there with beautiful smiles or mesmerising eyes. But we don't fall in love with all of these people. We might love that part of them but it doesn't mean we love them. We might not even like them. So how can we say something like - I love them, because of the way they smile for the sake of smiling...

In my humble...
been IN love once, in lust a billion and one times, mistaken lust for love twice
...opinion. It's because that might be something that you love about them and it helps remind you of your love for them.

Speaking of lust. That is definitely a confusing little emotion that tags along with, romantic, love. And it's a big factor in the fun of being in love. It's what makes your heart beat a million times faster than a humming birds. It's the thing that makes you want to ravage your new, or matured, love. It's one of the differences between, loving someone and, being IN love with someone.

The reason this can be confusing is...we don't have to be in love with someone to be in lust with them. And I think that can catch people off guard sometimes, making them believe they're in love. I think you can be in lust over someone's smile, or their eyes, or the way they squint their eyes and smile when they laugh. But I don't think you can love someone because of any single characteristic.

When you fall in love with a person you don't, just, love their smile, or their legs or their sense of humour. You fall in love with them. You fall in love with their strengths and weaknesses...their quirks and fall in love with, who they are!

The poster catches different levels of relationship I think

Saturday, August 14, 2010


About 15000 people marched for the right to be married throughout Australia today.

After a slightly delayed start to my day I finally made it to the rally. With about 10 minutes before the march started. I missed out on the speakers and a performance but I made it in the end (better than nothing?).

I was feeling proud, of myself and everyone else that made it out today.

But after uploading some pictures on FB a good friend of mine told me his girlfriend was bullied because she's straight. There was no reason anyone should harass this girl. She's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And she doesn't have any hate for the LGBTQI community, at all. I mean, she accepted me as I am without skipping a beat. Which is more than I can say for some of the 'gays' I know, who freaked out just as much as some of the 'heteros'  I know, if not more.

So now I'm not feeling 100% proud of my fellow queers. I'm still proud and I will still make it to the next rally for gay marriage. But I'm gonna be on the lookout for any 'straight bashing'. Because no one deserves to be discriminated against, even if they aren't a minority.

So anyhoosles...

Here's some of those pictures I mentioned

Some of the rallying peeps

Sure, there was a few homophobes 

But there was some straight, gay marriage supporters too

What do we want???

Lesbi-bride throwing her bouquet

Watching the last words...and...