Alfred And I Reunite

I had an appointment in the city, as usual I took a camera along with me. But instead of just grabbing Rosie or my Diana (the slut of cameras - "she's sloppy...and everyone's had a go") I grabbed the first camera I ever owned...Alfred, the (Cosina made) Nikon FE10.

Today I discovered how I fell in love with taking photos. It was because of Alfred, if it wasn't for him I don't think I would have cared much about photography at all. I love shooting with him, I can't believe I left him sitting in the bottom of a camera bag for so long.

He's not all fancy with a whole heap of hoozy-wotsit's or anything at all really. He has a lens, a couple of dials to set film and shutter speed and a button to open up the shutter. But that's what makes him special.

I forgot theres another trigger-me-jig that let's you preview something or something ??? I dunno. And a timer...I know...fancy!

After my appointment I just wondered around window shopping, with Alfred slung over my shoulder ready to expose the cheapest film I could find ($1 a roll).

It was a bit weird  at first, getting used to the now unfamiliar way of changing the speed and aperture. But it didn't take long to get reacquainted with the feel and sound of the old boy, only a couple of frames or three.

I can't wait to get my film developed and scanned...even though the pictures are probably all really bad!

A Saturday Night

Tonight was pretty great. I was at a gig with some of my best friends. We pretty much did what we always do.

We danced around like lunatics!

The venue was over crowded and we had a couple of, rather tipsy, "matured", ladies pushing us around trying to claim the area for themselves. But we didn't let that bother us. It was nothing but super serious fun times, and constant laughter for us.

People must think we are completely crazy though. We have developed a repertoire of "interpretive" dance moves. Which are usually danced to rockabilly or 60's type R&B  music. Everyone else is bopping or jiving or twisting or just moving in an appropriately rhythmic sway type dance. Not us don't be ridiculous. We're doing the "I Lost My Shoe But I have a book" dance. Yes it is as amazing as it sounds!

For some reason I didn't take a single photo. And I was lugging Rosie in my little handbag all night. Not that it's the heaviest camera around, or even the heaviest camera I own. But I think I should get myself something a little smaller for carrying around in my handbag. I don't actually enjoy torturing myself.

After the gig I caught the train to get home, as I usually do. But tonight I was really really tired. I didn't get more than an hours sleep last night.So by the time I got on the train I was completely drained. Obviously everyone on the train could see I was a little worse for wear.

There was a guy sitting across from me a couple of seats down. He started to ask me something "excuse me". He was polite enough but I still thought that I was just going to get harassed for money or something. The usual reason someone starts out polite on the train. Either that or they are going for a last attempt at getting lucky for the night. But I was wrong.

"Excuse me" I look toward the guy "is everything alright...are you okay" I was actually shocked, I could tell that he was genuinely concerned. "I hope your okay. I don't like seeing people upset. You look as if you've had a hard time". This guy wasn't threatening to look at but I didn't expect he would be so sweet.  " No, I'm fine. I'm just tired. Thank you though" is all I could think of saying.

He sort of just smiled and looked away but then said he didn't know if he believed me. So he started telling me to "never take negativity or discrimination to heart...just send it back, with love"

Some other people got on the train and were listening to him and started talking with him about what he had been saying. And then he turned back to me and said "your beautiful, don't worry about negative people...this is for you"

And he started playing a song on his didgeridoo.

Everyone on the now packed train instantly stopped talking, and whatever else, and just listened. He made everyone in the carriage smile, so we all cheered and applauded. The train pulled in to the city and he said "thank you" with a smile and everyone got off the train.

I wish I took a photo!

A Midnight Adventure...Kinda

So it has been a while since my last post.

I suddenly realized how serious this blogging thing can be. So I freaked out and tried to pick one of my super amazing ideas and make it all super duper amazing. The goal was to be entertaining/thought provoking, or at least just not completely boring.

I had an amazing idea and all I needed was to get some clothes on and take some pictures and then basque in the glory that would have been my amazing blog post...This did not happen.

What I did do was nothing at all to do with blogging or my super duper amazing idea. I just got on with my fairly mundane life.

After a while and a lot of procrastination reading other blogs to fill my time because everything else I have to do isn't nearly as important. Fast forward to earlier tonight/this morning. I got hungry and bored, with a feeling of guilt, for not posting said amazing stuff.

So I went to get some greasy burgers and took some photos with my phone.

The talking box

Yay for 24hr drive through

They just left them sitting there staring at me...for minutes!

I had the biggest urge to play on this as I drove past

Being a badass (idiot) taking a picture while driving

The corner shop...to forever be known as "Dead Mans"

in motion 

The side of Dead Mans

So this was my midnight adventure of getting some food and driving back home.

You Guys Are AMAZING...Or Am I Just Boring

A random photo of a computer playing a movie about people that fly

I'm actually quite surprised I haven't lost any of my "legion of followers" after my last post. Because people usually freak and run when they find out. It's also weird no one has abused me yet. But I'm not complaining.

I understand it can be threatening to people, and their perceptions of gender (among other issues). Even some of my best (real) friends, that I've had since I was a little kid, ran away for a little while. Even though they would comment on my feminine looks and occasional behaviour, all the time, before they found out. But they said they had no idea. I'm guessing I was good at pretending to be a guy (I realize this statement may not make sense to you)

But you're still here.

This means people really are amazing!

I know this is true, most of the time. But for some reason we all run into the very un-awesome people in the world, a little too often. So it's easy to forget.

OR

I've been so boring you have long forgotten you are even following me, and haven't read my last post. Which is probably also true.

For some reason this has made me want to start posting things that are, actually, interesting. Instead of just writing about my weird mood or latest annoyance (but this will still happen)

Problem is...I'm not that interesting. So don't hold your breath.

I think I will just spend a little more time thinking about what I want to post. And maybe even prepare things before just getting bored, typing something off the top of my head and posting.

Basically what I'm trying to say is; You guys are amazing and I love reading your blogs so I'm gonna try and make it up to you and make this blog a little more interesting and consistent

xx Sophie Neutron xx

About Me

It has been brought to my attention that I have been keeping some rather important bits of information about myself from you all.

I don't actually think it's that important for everyone to know. But I guess I'm a little too close to it all to know. So I have decided to give you all some more details about who I am.

I am a twenty something living in Australia. I wasn't born here because my mum, who was born here, was living overseas at the time. But I've lived here almost my whole life and I love this country (most of the time).

I am also only attracted to women. I don't know why this is important to you, but apparently it is. I have never been attracted to men. And I can be sure, because, I am.

Lastly, and I suppose, most importantly. I have XY chromosomes. Meaning I was born male, which makes me transsexual (pre-op).

I didn't think it was important to say on here. I see myself as a woman and I live as a woman. And most everyone that sees me as I go about my business day to day see me that way too, including the ones that know.

I was trying to live "stealth" which basically means I don't want every man and his dog knowing I used to be a man. Which is also a good reason to keep as much of this info to myself.

Another reason I didn't want to mention this on here is. I don't want to attract "tranny chasers". I have nothing against them but I'm not interested in helping people satisfy this fetish. It can get a little scary at times with some people and my safety is pretty important to me.

I am sorry if anyone feels I should have divulged this information earlier but I honestly didn't think it was important.

PS. I wrote this a little while ago and realized it is important to tell you all. It's mostly important for me. Because; I was scared to press "publish". I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of who I am.

Please, if you don't like who I am, instead of being mean and judgemental, just don't read this blog.

If anyone does have questions though I will try and answer them. But I've found I'm not very "typical" in my experiences. So anything I say is just my opinion.

Smile

Rosie and I took this photo, almost by accident, while at a gig/event thingy. I like it, so it's going up on here. And it just makes me smile when I look at it.

It brings back memories of when I was a kid. Going to carnivals with my dad and playing the games in the side show alley. Running around through the crowds of laughing smiling people with all the amazing props and machines buzzing and swirling and bobbing and flashing. All while eating such amazingly bad sugary, greasy food. Even then, I knew eating so much junk was gonna make me suffer later...worth it!

It also reminds me to always try and find my smile, and share it with the world. Who knows, someone that's finding it hard to find their smile might see you. And just maybe find a reason to smile too.

Homeless

Although I have spent a couple of my sleepless nights curled up on public furniture when I was younger. That isn't what I want to talk about here.

I'm talking about living in a house (apartment etc.) but not having a home.

There is a big difference between a house and a home...I think.

Not once in my life have I ever felt like I was home. Not even as a kid living with my mum. I had a place to lay my head at night. With a roof and walls and bathroom and kitchen and all the other things that you may find in a home. But it was just a house I lived in.

Everywhere I've lived has just been another place to live. Basically, just a place where I could keep my things and go to sleep.

I'm not quite sure how it would feel to finally be at home.

 But I imagine, it would be like having a place that you feel comfortable. The kind of comfort you get when you're wearing your favourite coat, or pair of jeans. A place that just feels right for you. A place where you belong.

For now I don't really mind being "homeless". In a way I feel kind of lucky. It's like I'm still on an exciting journey. A journey that will hopefully lead me to my home someday.